Empathy

It's been a while since I've written, but I felt the need to write about an epiphany that I've had.

I first started to notice a tendency in high school, that as I had an innate habit of absorbing the personality traits of others I was around. Much like the way I absorb data.

At a time when I didn't know about Asperger's, it didn't really make much sense to me. It is known that those with Asperger's have difficulty understanding and empathizing with others emotions.

A few months ago, I was talking with a former colleague about his turmoil and he self-describes himself as an 'empath'. I found it very interesting to discover another end of the empathy spectrum. It was an interesting discussion between the man who can't empathize and the man who can't stop empathizing.

It occurs to me now the way that I cope with my inability to naturally empathize is through a strange form of mimicry. I generate would would probably be better described as a 'simpatico' with people. I find a way to feel empathy through subconsciously analyzing and mimicking how people behave and then internalizing it.

So that makes me wonder again, how much of 'me' is me? How much is layers upon layers of other people's personalities, feelings and emotions analyzed and absorbed by my mind? 

Maybe this is the way all Aspies cope? Maybe it's the healthiest way to go about it? Or maybe this is limited to my own unique mind? I don't know. I don't know how to even feel about it, so far it has worked, but I feel it further obfuscates my own identity.