Honestly, my 'career' as a leader starts well before my current employment or it's immediate predecessor and believe me it has not been an easy road. For me, leadership really started in high school; working on the Class Committee and it's Activities Committee, being on Student Council and serving as a Captain of the Speech and Debate Team. For someone like me, for whom social interaction takes a lot of energy and doesn't quite come naturally (introvert and suspected autism spectrum) I made a lot of mistakes. I was always very good at the technical end of things, creating structures, analysis, technical writing, etc. But what I sometimes missed, particularly when it came to my work with my Class Committee, was imparting my vision and getting the group's buy in, in other words soft leadership.
The one part of soft leadership that I became good at was developing talent. In high school, this manifested most with my Speech and Debate team. Even before I was a captain, I helped to develop new freshman team members and support them. This created a mentor-mentee relationship that lasted for a few years.
When I started working at CVS, I didn't always get it right either. I initially didn't start in a leadership role but I eventually became Photo Supervisor. When I was at the Riverside store, I rightly focused on technical aspects because that was what was mainly needed, I had a team that knew what they were doing. It was however still very collaborative.
When I was transferred to the Barrington location and a much larger / busier photo lab, it was a very different scenario. The team did not have the necessary training and many of them were high school students for whom the job was not a high priority. I rightly emphasized a sense of discipline, processes and benchmarks. But I also tried to develop and generate passion. However in many cases the current crew were replaced one by one, because some were just not the right fit. With a fresh team, I feel I found a good balance. I developed a lot of leaders that ended up going on to lead photo labs in the district we were in, I am especially proud of that.
Where I may not have always handled things well was with my relations with other leaders in the store. Some people would have never been happy with me, I came into a situation where I was switched with another Photo Supervisor who's brother and step-mother both worked as shift supervisors. I also had a very different style from the long time Photo Supervisor before him. But it took me too long to realize who I would never get support from and who I could eventually build strong relationships with and while I eventually became very close to those who were left after a year of leadership changes, I could have done so, in some cases, sooner and cleaner.
So fast forward to my time at Sam's Club. The Sam's Club culture is very different from CVS, with much more emphasis on getting to know your employees on a personal level and invest in them and their needs. This was expected while at the same time holding them responsible for their performance.
It was tough at first, especially in my first leadership role there both with my subordinates and again with other leaders. But over time, I think I found a good balance where I was well respected by most to be tough but fair and caring. I was surprised how many people actually told me they appreciated my high expectations. I was lucky enough to have some amazing mentors that saw my talent and helped foster it. I tried to do the same for others and I think I succeeded. I would tell a lot of 'up and comers' that I was fostering that "You don't have to be a Team Leader to be a leader". I left there feeling that I reached the peak of what I could do in that job.
So again, fast forward to the Pawtucket School Department. One thing I mention, including on other posts in this blog. Is that I am no longer in a leadership role and that I miss it to some degree. However, in discussion with my manager today I realized something. I had missed my own advise. I don't have to be a formal supervisor or manager to be a leader, and while it hadn't really dawned on me consciously, I had been unconsciously practicing that advise. I had been helping to re-shape the office, I had been initiating change with the team I work with. I had been influencing. I had no formal power over anyone, but I had gotten others to follow me as a soft leader. It was not the first time I had done this, but it was the first time I had done so this pervasively without any formal leadership role.
For me this was a big realization and it was big for what it meant for me as a professional and more importantly, as an individual. I realize that I have a set of gifts, but those gifts also come with deficits. This is no different than anyone else, only more pronounced in someone on the spectrum. But as someone that has not always been satisfied with my progress in personal and social arenas, I have hope that with hard work I can continue to develop myself.
In the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who, The Doctor realizes where he is going "home, the long way around" I believe the sentiment is apt in my case as well, I may not have hit the 'normal' life benchmarks (driver's license, college, friendships, dating, etc), As I improve and change (regenerate), I am getting there, the long way around.
